Thursday, December 16, 2010

christmas ready or not....

i am probably the most disorganized i have ever been for christmas. barely any gifts sorted. man's birthday tomorrow & no gift yet.
i am curiously calm though.
another storm is coming & i am looking forward to smelling the rain.
i am making brooches & dreaming of doillies.
my first day of holidays & i am just catching my breath.

photo from creature comforts


this photo made me smile last night in bed with the iphone in the blackout.

i got home from a long 12 hour day at last day before 3 weeks holiday! my family had dinner cooking. then....lights out. the storm nuked all power for a few hours. the candles were lit. dinner served in bowls, books read by candlelight & the 4 of us chatting & having laughs in the dark together...for hours.

i'm not sure about anyone else, but we are pretty routine in the evening - dinner together, clean up together, showers & then chill time (often with the boys upstairs & the 2 of us catching up on the couch. bedtimes are apparently strict in our house. well, so my kids tell me....i think it's just fine. more often than not of late, they are tucking me into bed!

last night was just beautiful. i sat on the couch, had dinner served to me, kids hanging around reading joining in the convo & man & i enjoying a glass of wine together. lovely family time.
we both commented that thanks to mother nature, we had an unexpected peachy family night in.

sometimes it really is the little things....

photo from how about orange

Friday, October 8, 2010


i have booty....yes, my arse is big, but i am talking booty from holidays....crafty, delicious, exciting booty direct from places like...
purl soho - omg the most gorgeous shop. the photo above is from their embroidery hoop display. this place is pure porn for the crafty chicks out there. i visited twice & was so overwhelmed i couldn't decide what to buy...madness. i do have a little fabric bundle, felt buttons & tiny embroidery hoops though....& freezer paper for fact, 12 metres of the stuff. shit i can stencil a whole freaking room! 
moma - i have nyc in a bag. it was a rainy day & busy indoors but amazing to see up close the works of the great artists of the world... breathtakingly close up!
kiteya - amazingly gorgeous little bag from a beautiful japanese store in soho. nerida, you would wet your a good happy way! i was literally nearly wetting my pants as loos are hard to come by in nyc & i had my 3 boys waiting outside hungry, so a short quick shop.
verbena - i have bookplates & a cute little lunch bag to take to work each day...from shirlington village, washington dc. this village was picture book perfect & we stayed here for 4 nights & totally adored the dog friendly village atmosphere among the locals.
limelight market - an incedible church turned boutique market place...beautiful & i regret not snapping away for photos....i have lacey coaster goodness & a new teacup with silicon lid.
meatpacking district markets - i have gorgeous earrings from a street stall. this was a relaxing day in the sunshine & a walk along the high line....this is worthy of a post all it's own.
anthropologie - i have teatowels with crochet edges from this extremely overpriced store. must admit, i was disappointed. their stores are huge & beautiful to browse around but mostly quite overpriced.
disneyworld - i have jedi mickey & darthvader goofy (there is a story behind that)
madison park market - i have graffiti art photos for framing
banana republic - cute little pieces of clothing that make me smile
swarovski crystal - i have the most beautiful ring that shimmers brightly & changes colour depending on the light.
totally amazing booty! shit hot booty. shake your arse booty!

i'm back baby!

wow, have i got loads to share & talk about!!

we landed back on aussie soil early tuesday morning....after a 20 hour journey from new york. i have had the best holiday ever & am totally in love with nyc & it's vibrant energy.
so, i still have the half written postcards from vegas in my bag, the washing is almost done & i have big plans for a travel blog......but don't hold your breath. remember i'm 50percentkaz!
i am however, the happiest & most relaxed i've been in a very long time....& it feels great. i have a huge endorphin-like high going on & what a buzz it is.

the craft itch has me scratching though & i am totally obsessed with vintage telephones & doilies (still). so, this weekend i am stitching me up a little something & chasing down a stamp i have been lusting after for some time. my brooch obsession continues also, so look out!

as i am obsessed with vintage phones, i just bought this one & i cannot wait for it to arrive in the post. so excited. isn't she beautiful??

Saturday, September 4, 2010

new look

i am escaping into blogworld for some play. i am mucking around with new templates, so things could get messy here for a bit.....

father's day..... sucks

to me, father's day is a pain in the arse. i know i will burn in hell for muttering these words but i am not known for my holding back.
you see, the infrequent phonecalls i have with my father are all the same. i barely know him. i reconnected after many many years of lost contact. and i try really hard but i struggle to be honest with him & to be myself. i haven't told him we are going on a holiday because i don't want to seem extravagant. he lives very simply & has medical problems but of his own doing. i am trying hard not to sound harsh but i can't help him. i am glad to have contact with him as i see it makes him happy. and in some ways i am more like him than my mother. but our lives are vastly different. and he needs to help himself too. i always ring on special occasions but i have to psych myself up for it.
my step-father is lovely & i respect & love him in a different way. but he's not my father. i can talk more easly with him but it's still pretty superficial.
my the father of our 2 gorgeous boys & i know he deserves to be treated on father's day. but he's not into fuss & gifts & hoo-har. he was brought up in a harsh disjointed way & never really celebrated anything. it's taken me 15 years to constantly reinstill the importance of occasions & gift giving for our own family traditions. he has no father now & i know tomorrow will bring some inner sadness for him. he never knew his father. he only heard of his death after the fact. he was robbed of the chance to ever know him.
so, for us, it's more about writing words in card for my husband. something from the heart. and maybe a shirt from colorado...


yes, i believe things happen in threes. they always do.
this fortnight its been:
1.the glass outdoor table exploding into a trillion pieces right before our eyes at breakfast. quite a freaky site. and quite a freaking mess!
2. a text from 14yo son at 4pm...mum would it be inconvenient to ring you now?....instantly i was suspicious. i return the call to hear that 10yo son has hurt his arm at school. as a nurse & midwife my response is...can you move all your fingers? is it sore? is it swollen? get the gameboy out & see if you can use it. i'll ring you in 15 minutes on my way home.....husband in sydney of course.
walk in the door at 6pm, took one look under the icepack & yep its broken. fracture clinic is my second home. just in time to fly out on the family holiday but all is good.
3. the dryer blows up...
yep...threes! done!

lilly white arse

so in a matter of days i will be planting my lilly white arse on a big plane & heading to the excitement of america. first stop - vegas. well, technically its LA but only to get on another plane for vegas. we saw LA 3 years ago & it didn't meet with my expectations....whole other story!

we are doing vegas, orlando, washington & new york!! i think i am more excited than the boys.

but i have a dilemma.....i look like a hairy albino mammoth straight from hibernation. i kid you not. my legs are the hairiest i have ever seen. the brazillian got cancelled last month (i know, the horror) & my vampire-like white sheen will scare small children at the pool in vegas.

the wax is booked (i pity that poor beautician) but i am in a dilemma about the spray tan. i normally get a light spray tan before going on holidays but am reconsidering this time....even though i know white flab is worse than slightly tanned flab.

i try to blend in a little poolside as i always look like the aussie - white, hiding in the shade, 30+ sunscreen & kids covered up too & bored within an hour of sitting. the europeans are letting it all hang out (hair & dangly bits included) & bronzing away oblivious to the word melanoma....the americans are squeezed into a bikini no matter their size & are tanned to within an inch of their life with their silicon boobs popping out. the brits are excited to see sun & blue skies & their skin is screaming for more vitamin d.

my friend trish is off to bali with her sister soon & asked about a spray tan. she is gorgeous & would still look great without one. i am screaming....yes it's fab. do why am i rethinking it this time? i am not put off by the get naked & stand spread eagle in front of a size 8 beautician while she sprays you from head to toe...bending over to get the butt cheeks that (surprisingly) doesn't bother me at all. i can tolerate the stench of it & the stickiness & not showering for 12 hours.

maybe i am just becoming more comfortable in my lilly white arse. maybe i want to be natural. maybe i just can't be arsed....await for the screams poolside.

ps...not my lilly white arse in the photo...but a girl can dream!


i think i've changed. i think i'm a morning person now....or may be i'm just getting old. because old people get up early, even when they don't have to.
all this new work routine has me up early each day. and now, on a saturday, i am awake at 6am without an alarm and ready to get on with the day.
my man says i am like a little goat leaping out of bed each morning, excited to get into the day. trust me, he's never seen me leaping out of bed before!
wow, imagine my excitement....i feel human. i sleep and eat in regular patterns. no shiftwork. i tell you, i've seen the light! there is no going back now.....well, that's the plan anyway. i do love plans and lists remember.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

big baby

having weekends off is a whole new concept for me. it has so many bonuses for family life. the only negative is going places where everyone is on their day off too.

we went for brunch to ben o'donoghue's new surf club cafe at southbank....yummy food our style - hot strong coffees, chilli & coriander, bacon, eggs & prawns & hot smoked salmon. yum!

then lined up for  ron mueck's exhibition. totally amazing. though 14yo son found the in your face nudity a tad confronting initially. he's 14...

we love goma & i always wish we went more often. it's a great family thing to do. and we always stop off for chocolate brownie at togninis cafe. it's tradition....gotta!

Thursday, June 24, 2010

summer yet?

so, it appears that the only way i will survive being holed up wearing my red clogs & poncho (from anthropologie)  in my cottage in europe is to have a constant supply of saki....apparently it warms you up nicely. thanks for the tips nerida!

winter is a chore for me. i sort of hold my breath & get through it trying not to whine...too much. right now, i am dreaming of vegas & the humidity & sun & pool. it is still a few months away but i am gagging for it!

other things....found myself another hairdresser (one of robin hood's mates) who can actually cut hair. she took one look at my '80's hair & rescued me. i'm back baby!! and it feels good.

masterchef...still loving it. bumped into sharnee in the valley yesterday. i soo wanted to hug her & tell her i thought she was fab & that i love young peeps with passion....but i had a hot chocolate milk moustache & thought i may scare her...& i still had my '80's hair then.

dreaming of crafting but lately all my time has been about the career. must be midlife crisis time as i am plotting my path out of shift work. after over 20 years, i am done! so, here i sit surrounded by paperwork, applications, cv & reading upon reading. my little voice told me that this was my, i remain positive & am embracing the journey. it is somewhat unexpected but amazing. so far, it feels good.....step by step.

Sunday, May 16, 2010 from the 1980's

it has been a whirlwind of a month. what have i been up to? where has the time gone?
  • eating the best poached eggs at sassafras
  • eating & shopping with a friend of over 20yrs who was visiting
  • taking 2 steps forward & 6 back with my mother
  • trying to let go of the disappointment (again)
  • learning that friends move on & change too & that's ok
  • reading, reading & more reading
i also am living back in the '80's with my new haircut....remember how my robin hood (man in green tights hairdresser boy) left for sydney to chase his boyfriend...well, i tried a new salon didn't i!
you know when you are sitting there & you just know it's about to go to shit...are you hearing me?? i should've listened to my inner voice & ran....but. i. didn't.
i asked for a stylish chic bob. not anything near the mark i'm afraid. all i heard about was how this tubby pom has trained in london, how shit aussie cutters are, the ex-husband, how she's so experienced, bla, bla, bla... it was a most torturouse 2 hours. now i am left to pick up my legwarmers, find a scrunchie in the drawer & wait for it to grow so it can be fixed! i had this style in 1987 & i didn't need to relive it. really.
i am a leo & i detest bad hair!

but the best thing this month is we have booked a holiday for later in the year!!
we are off to vegas, orlando, washington & new york for 3 weeks. i am very excited. the house sitter is booked, the flights are all booked & now i just have the hotels to book.
i am itching to get my lilly white arse into anthropology, urban outfitters, moma & the likes. and this time i am coming home with a kitchenaid if it kills me. i deliberated last time in san fran about spending $299 on one. not this trip baby. it's all mine.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

playing dress-ups

it all started a few weeks ago when my eldest son needed an hawaiian shirt for a themed party - 14yo style. to my sheer disbelief there was not one piece of appropriate clothing to be found in our house. so i was off to ******** (opportunity/thrift store)  of course. & there it was in all it's glory. the perfect shirt for him. & hibiscus embellished billabong boardies in his size. what a find.....little did i know that my real life was about to be revealed to me.

after parting with my $6 for both items, somehow i was signed up to volunteer at the store once a month....starting on a tuesday. yes, of course i'd love to. yes the 13th sounds fine. in the bat of an eye i had agreed to volunteer in the middle of school holidays, with an already overloaded schedule, a husband interstate that day & not energy enough to even shake my head. how did that happen? shit. i know i wanted to do more community service....but.....fuck, i can barely clothe myself on my rare days off of late. let alone cook, clean or have sex! now i am fucking volunteering at ********! shit, now i have to lie to them - the thrift store that do so much for the community.... i have an extra child that day & it will be physically impossible - for more than one reason.

how do i get myself into these situations?

so, it appears i am playing dress-ups. i am pretending to be a fabulous svelte little wife & mother, who homecooks every meal, has a spotless house, dresses in beautiful clothes, has an amazingly important & fulfilling  job & who never complains.

the truth is i am absolutely exhausted, can barely think about eating, let alone cooking or exercising. the 3 week growth on my legs is annoying even me. i have beard. my floors are filthy. i got my husband nigel's new book - overworked & underlaid - for bedtime reading to keep him busy (& to try & convince him he is not alone). i haven't cooked a meal in 4 nights. i can't be arsed in communicating with anyone. i have nothing to wear as our entire wardrobes sit unironed in the family room.....well, actually a few things are being ironed by my husband as i type. apparently the kids have been in the same clothes for 3 days now. no one has really noticed. or cares. they are boys who are happy to free-ball any chance they get. i have been at work, so it hasn't happened on my shift!

playing dress-ups is great when you actually have clothes to put on.

tomorrow i have to ring & lie to a charity organization. because i am stupid. & i seem to help everyone but me. & i have a patient husband who understands the need for space. & great kids. & i have booked in for a facial as soon as school is back. & i will try not to feel guilty. & i am officially banned from that particular thrift store....which is my fave for dress-ups. bugger....

Thursday, April 8, 2010

not a morning person

i am sitting here with my second cup of coffee & my raspberry & almond muffin thinking...why didn't i put white chocolate chunks in these muffins?

if i was a morning person, i would've cleaned the toilets & showers by now & had the second load of washing on...but alas, i am not a morning person. it appears i am not a late night person either. i was falling asleep on the couch at 8.30 last night.....the joys of years shift work are finally depleting me.

it's been a year since i had a holiday...& in my line of work, that's about 11 months too long! well, it just seems unfair as i have worked all the school holidays in this time. i know i only work a pathetic few days a week, but it still counts. i am one of those mums that loves the holidays...until about the last week of the 8 week xmas break! i love the sleep-ins (having to wake one child at 10.30 this week was pretty funny), the hanging out, the catch ups, the pure relaxing of it all........yes, holidays are great for us non-morning peeps!

today is a day off & i need to make a list, so i actually achieve something. i have been a bit off my game on lists of late. it means i just float along not really achieving much of anything.

great news though...2 days in to a new gig at work & i am loving it. i may never want to return to the old me. maybe i will hang up my baby catching glove for good. this gig is much less messy & noisy, more delegating, more typing & less wiping than i ever imagined my work life to be...there may be no going back. who knew change would be so refreshing?? and clean...

**cupcake wrappers not memory escapes me - sorry!!

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

lost for words?

it would appear i don't have much to say of late...when in fact, i have a lot to say...but it's just too full of expletives to put here. do you have times like that too?

much has happened but not in the crafty goodness way that i would like. but there are some highlights with the lowlights...

i did get a hug from a giant white bunny at work on the weekend. i was truly excited until a colleague told me he was a real creep...then someone else said it was a girl...which i though was much better. relief? not sure. but the bunny gave me an egg! trust me. it was the highlight.

i got the news my brother left his (second) wife. deep down i felt it was good news as he hadn't seemed happy in years & i suspected she was part of that. lets just be discreet & say we are very different! but still a tough situation for the kids. he has a son with her & 2 teen girls with wife #1..the highlight for me was hearing my 15yo neice say well that's great dad as she was a real bitch anyway!! same neice is upset his birthday party this month is cancelled....even though it shouldn't be a highlight, my neice said what everyone else was thinking & that made it a highlight for me! & my brother & i have spoken more this fortnight than in total in the last 5 years. a highlight!

clarity at work. for my man & myself. all in the one week. exhausting & stressful. a pivotal moment when you realise that you need more challenges, leadership & support than can be given where you are & you choose the high road & embrace other challenges. with great people around. definitely a highlight.

end of term 1. we all made it. year 6 & 9 parent teacher interviews. definitely a highlight.

letting go.... of stuff. of friends that are unreliable & have moved on too. of clutter & noise. of preconceived ideas. of the hurt & anger. what a huge highlight....i feel 10kgs lighter. well i know i'm not. but i feel it!

the clogs....from anthropology. what a highlight in my search for clogs! aren't the beautiful...

Sunday, March 14, 2010

newfound loves...

olive manna is one of my newfound loves. it's paper & textiles & delicious photos...go there for a peek. it is heaven to me. i need some cotton reels & stickers.... they are gorgeous!

the good fairy is another. of course the translation tool helps! norwegian has never been my best language. great retro fabric, crafting, scandi peeks & links...

armellejewelry is another...for all sorts of reasons. eye candy, food & kids stuff. as well as bling.
have a look. she has some great stuff.

all good

so, i survived another week.....i realised this boy worries me but he's ok. he is fussy but that's how he is. he sat up & ate pork belly (home cooked with love) & asian greens last night. maybe he's got good taste afterall.......

the boys tell me they visited little vietnam town yesterday....which was just really a suburb in our part of the world. we talked at dinner how fab & multicultural australia is. we all love it. we love the asian influence here & couldn't survive without it.

then i realised (not for the first time)....we are just not meat & three veg sort of people. maybe that's why my boy had a hard time with school camp's old school. straight out of the 1980's. my boys have never eaten that sort of's foreign to them. like bali belly to some that travel to bali who are not familiar with their food.

so, he got bali belly. he's ok. i'm ok. we're all good.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

lost it...

i think i have seriously lost the plot....the weekend was a blur of bile & sleep deprivation. our youngest got sick on school camp (again) & needed hard drugs to stop the bile vomits. i was greeted to this as i finished night duty friday, after 2 hours sleep i had a little green patient at home. he worries me as i think the anxiety around food starts it intially. but then it goes deep in his gut & before we know it, he cannot stop vomiting & we are at the doctor.

this child is a sensitive soul. and a very fussy eater. like i was before i left home. he likes boring plain old food....which no one else in the family likes. we eat loads of asian, indian, spicy foods. but not this kid. i must confess i sometimes wash a curry under the tap for him. to tone down the spice. friends alternate between hysterical laughter & total shock. i just got to the point where cooking 2 meals was just too much. and he needed to get with the program. he now will swallow a vitamin - a recent achievement.

dinner time for this kid has always been a dramatic event. different textures send him into a spin. he puked back some couscous last week. straight back onto his plate. it didn't reach his stomach. my calm reply? hun, just move your chicken away from the vomit & concentrate on the this too calm?

i alternate between hard arsed just eat it mum & totally whatever go to bed hungry mum....i have been trying to be calm about the food. blood tests a few years ago revealed nothing was wrong. but we are back at the gp for some input this week.

he is 10 now & in my mind, we should be on easy street when it comes to dinner. we eat healthy meals. my kids have not grown up on meat pies, soggy frozen vegies & tinned food....but apparently camp food is this sort of food. part of me likes that he cannot eat that crap. but he needs to try....he tells me it's the smell that gets to him. i don't blame him. that stuff stinks. but he cannot starve himself at camp.

he has improved.
he still swallows peas whole - so did i.
he will eat broccolini tiny bit by tiny bit.
he won't touch salad.
he eats chicken, meat, pork, fish (with my beer batter)
he eats potato, pasta & rice
he loves cheese
he eats apples & sometimes watermelon
he never eats sweets, lollies or cakes (only my choc chip muffins which he cooks with me)
the only orange thing he will eat is a cheezle.

am i losing it? does any other mother go through this? how does one gorgeous little person reduce me to tears with worry?

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

just breathe....

finally, a day off.
it's been crazy here for the last 10 days. course work to do, workshop talks to prepare, boy to get to camp, shifts & double shifts to get through, homework - for us all, debating workshops for one boy.....& the usual family business....& night duty is looming like a thunder cloud.
& the rain. o my, the rain!
i have just eaten a huge bowl of porridge for lunch. it was perfect.
i am ignoring all the mess, the washing & ironing, the cleaning....& i am just taking a few breaths today. catching up on computer things, browsing blogs, buying a few goodies online.
i bought a set of mounted photos from here. they look beautiful. this photo is one of them. i know just the wall to hang them.
just breathing now....

Sunday, February 28, 2010

japanese advantage

is it wrong to encourage my eldest son to stay good friends with the most gorgeous half japanese girl in the school? i mean, they are great friends & have been for years.
it's just that now i lust after washi tape & japanese craft books, i could use this japanese influence to my advantage couldn't i?
and she is stunning & super smart....
& goes home to japan often.
shit, what's not to like?
my eldest voluntered to be a buddy for a japanese exchange student last week too. this is my son who embraces his inner nerd & has just spent his sunday at a debating workshop. god, where did he come from? he's cute & thoughtful & cultured & would totally make a wonderful boyfriend for a gorgeous japanese girl....i could invite her to dinner to translate for me.
she sends home origami swans for him.
life is good with this girl around.
i just need some happy tape!

Saturday, February 27, 2010

dutch chicks

not so long ago, all i knew about holland was clogs, tulips & the tasty little croquets(?) my old dutch neighbours would cook up when i was 12. remembering, i came from closed minded rural australia & that my mother still refers to anyone with an accent, dark hair /skin or a passport as new australians! really.

i have the most amazing friend who's family brought her to australia from holland at the age of 12. she tells stories of speaking no english, kooky (to aussies) clothes & head flushing at school - all for just being different. i cannot even imagine how difficult her life was back then. i have a deep admiration of this girl & she embraces her uniqueness with an ever present smile. i love her. her talents are many & she is stylish beyond words. i am hoping some style rubs off on me one day...

since discovering blogging, i have discovered more deliciousness than i can imagine about the netherlands & surrounding areas & i just want to be transported there to live for a year. i would be the awkward, daggy, pale little aussie among the strong, stylish, tall dutch chicks. i would just hope i am past the head flushing stage.

blogs like yvestown totally let me escape to another world, if only for a little while. this dutch girl is amazing & i cannot wait to discover more on her blog.

now, i am after dottieangel's clogs & i can tiptoe through the tulips. do they actually wear clogs in the netherlands or is it just a tourist thing? i don't want to be wearing anything kooky & put myself at risk of a head flush... is from yvestown blog & tutorial for crochet garland there also. btw, i had a go but my clogs are pinching my toes &  i need to practice more....


dottieangel is pure nanna chic goodness. check it out.
just wishing i could be cool enough to wear a dress over jeans & boots like she does. love it.
i am thinking i need more nanna chic in my house.... 

this week

a big week. extra shifts & a workshop that wasn't quite as poke your eye out with a needle boring as what i was led to believe - thank god we had the fill in facilitator!!

my saviour was....indian food & wine last night after overtime & being in the same clothes for 15 hours....well, a shower was good too.

also, i cannot get my mind off granny squares. i have had an image of a rug in my mind for a year now. you know the ones doing the circuit. little explosions of colour within white borders...mmmm.

i really want to be wrapped in mormon goodness in one of kelly's classes & feel that buzz of creativity....except i am pretty sure i wouldn't last long in the mormon group. i swear too much & like a glass of wine with lunch. & i sorta have a problem with rules. i would want to take all the lovely community, family, womanly bits & bathe in that for a while & then get a glass of wine. i don't need more than one glass but i like to have the choice. i am a bit 50percent when it comes to religion too i am afraid. it's just how god made me.....

ps...have you noticed how gorgeous the mormon girls are btw??  i have mentioned it to kelly before & apparently you have to be gorgeous to join up

Monday, February 22, 2010

secret weapon

it must be biggest loser time do i know this? because i am hauling my arse around the neighbouhood trying to run....remember my attempts last year? well i do & it wasn't pretty. but i thought if caitlin can run, maybe i can try too....she is 180kg after all.

my wakeup call came when i was trying shorts on in target. i caught site of my arse in the rear view mirror in the change room & i tell you, i was scared! wtf is with that lighting in there. is it meant to be a beacon onto the biggest part of you?

anyhow, after my man hears the distress in my voice, he takes me to athlete's foot. i am a total newbie there & i am happy with the 18yo assistant's advice & self control at my plight.

well, now i have a secret weapon - i had no idea what a difference a good pair of shoes makes when trying this whole exercise caper. man, these shoes have wings! i can run....well, i am up to 4 minutes at a time, so no need for applause....

my other secret weapon is the bike pants that are under my hold everything in & control the wobble. this is a good thing. especially for those running past me!

so, i stick with my mission for greater fitness. i have a girlfriend coming in april for a visit, so i have a goal. goals are good. maybe i just need to do a weekly visit to the target change room to keep me motivated.....

Sunday, February 14, 2010

random pretty little things

sometimes it's just nice to browse. to smile on the inside. to escape for a little while.
i had these photos in my file & i know i risk condemnation for not naming sources. but today i am lazy. so, sorry, but enjoy.
i have my sister visiting unexpectedly for a few nights. she has a close friend here who is dying, so it is a difficult visit for her.
i am excited to see her though & wish she could stay longer.....
my thoughts are with his family & friends xxx

woof xxx

one of the girls at work had herself a baby boy. i had these little doggy drawings of mine come to life in an appliqued singlet, softie & cuddly toy & popped them in a bag.
i think they are rather cute.
& i remembered to take a photo before posting them off.

table love...

months ago i bought some very scruffy table legs on ebay. they were described as daggy....a bit like me really!
i snapped them up for $25. no-one thought i would do anything with them. no one could see the potential. i had an idea though.
look at them now!! with a bit of scrap pine, a screw driver and handsaw, i have myself a cute little console table....all for under $100. and just one blister & minimal swearing was involved too....
i love a bargain. and it has soul. and the legs have history. they come from an old church & are over 100 years old.
daggy, my arse! i am fucking brilliant i tell you....

Sunday, February 7, 2010

what i should be doing is the ironing....
i am bumming around here reflecting on my busy week & making a journal cover....that doesn't fit the diary it was made for, but fits a notebook. so not all is lost.
kids back into the swing of school & homework.
man still has 2 weeks off.
i am meant to be emailing my cv to someone.....god this job stuff is exhausting. no wonder people just can't be bothered & stay put. it's been 4 years since i've had to apply for anything. it takes energy...
other happenings this week....
  • i am wondering why i was having a conversation with my boys about not trying to pee with an i'd know to be honest!
  • where is that international man of mystery when it comes to these talks??
  • i am reading the girl most likely by rebecca sparrow. i am sure she was looking down on my life when she wrote it....a funny read & i love a girl that's not afraid of the f- word
  • career talk - one step forward & two back.
  • i join up again?
  • wishing my baking mojo would return
  • skinny dipping alone...& a shower outside by the pool. the poor neighbours!
  • planning another girls night out with the cool chicks from work - they rock!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

sad...prayers please

please say some prayers for a small community close to my heart.
my niece was camping with some friends when a tragic accident occured....a friend has mistakenly driven his ute over other 2 friends asleep in their swags. they were just 19. my niece was there as they were celebrating a birthday. she and her boyfriend tried to save their friend's lives, but sadly they are gone.
speaking with my gorgeous niece yesterday has left me too sad for words....she was still in shock when we spoke. she was so brave though.
these kids all live in a very small community in country nsw. this town has been hit hard & there are many hearts breaking this week....especially all the parents involved & the poor lad who was driving.
please pray for them all xxx

Sunday, January 24, 2010

part time....& perspective

the other day i was of the young kidless doctors-in-training at work was excitedly chatting to me. she discovered i only worked 2 days a week. kaz, what do you do for the rest of the week if you are only here 2 days? she asked with her cute little smile....she was actually genuinely interested & intrigued at the same time.

i simply smiled & said that i did things that bought me joy, cared for my 2 boys, had an international man of mystery as a husband (think more austin powers than james bond) & that life was pretty fulfilling enough without working fulltime.

we had a short discussion about how great it is to be a part of my childrens lives & manage a bit of a career in between. it got her thinking she said. she had never thought that being a part time obstetrician was an option. i know several great female obstetricians who do just that & for who money is not the untimate goal & that family is very important. you could see the light bulb go off above her head. i told her just to think outside of the square & be confident if you want something, you can make it work.

then about 20 minutes later, i felt a little guilty.... for a moment, i actually felt selfish for having time for friends & coffees, sewing & craft & a bit of lazing about.

then i kicked myself....hello girl! i have had 2 boys who i adore & will be out the door within years....or maybe not according to current stats! i have been around for school drop offs & pickups, tuckshop, classroom help, when they are sick, i know their friends & their friends' mums, they talk to me about private stuff & even girls.... i have worked shift work for over 20 years - shit that is bloody tiring i tell you. i cook & clean & make nutritious snacks...yes & the cakes & muffins too but at least i know what is in them.

for anyone that doesn't have kids, these tasks have no real time value. i used to be the same. i used to think....why are these colleagues bothering to come in here 2 days a week. they are mere weekend warriors. what are they really giving? yes & i even admitted to thinking it to the current fulltimers.

well the first thing i got as a mother was perspective people. everything suddenly got put into its place of priority. in my never ending sleep deprived state, work was not the major focus of my life. i realised i was replaceable at work. i just got it & i was humbled.....

now, when i look around me at work. here is what i see.
  • the young & fearless gen-y who are totally ignorant of the pitfalls of the ladder climb & the responsibilty they crave...they have balls & live in a state of ignorant bliss - i remember being there with my balls. i do. there are some in this group who are just biding their time for something easier to come along...
  • the older near-retirement totally over it all ones who are worn out from too many years of shift work & not looking after themselves...& maybe not getting enough sex...just a i'd really know!
  • and my group in the middle - the part timers who want some work-life balance &/or are gradually increasing their hours at work as their kids grow....& we are tentatively stepping on that ladder again...but we are pissed because we seem to be doing all the freakin work! we are growing balls again though & we are wise souls who should not be underestimated. trust me, if you can wrangle a toddler & survive it, you can fucking do anything!
so there you have it. my little bit. i may only work 2 days a week but i enjoy it, i give it my all & i still have energy for those i love & i still get to do coffee at paddo without the crowds! life it good i tell you.
never feel guilty for having perspective & priorities people.

and before i get any complaints, i know it is every woman's right to be what she wants to be ie full time mum/part time mum/single mum/full time worker mum etc....personally i chose what suits me & my little family. that's all....

Friday, January 22, 2010

tellytubbies anonymous....

i fear i may have somehow morphed into a tellytubby in the last 6 months.
i am feeling a tad round in the middle & when i look in the mirror i see a big moon
being short is a curse i tell you....& being lazy is not helping!
my man just landed in hong kong & i have no work for 10 days, so it is my main mission to find a tellytubbies anonymous & sign up for some fitness here in telletubby land. i am sure i can find some green rolling hills to run around in...
i was hoping that wearing a sports bra to work meant i was doing exercise but hey, it's not working for me.
time for a bike ride today....


valentines day.
mean anything to you?
it seems out of proportion big in some parts of the world. not?
for me....i don't like to get caught up in the commercialism of it all. i think we get enough of that every other day.
and it is the day i was divorced all those moons ago...kind of funny eh?
i still feel queezy for all the champagne i drank that night...& vomiting for hours afterwards.
so, i think i'll leave valentines day to the heart experts!
these hearts are from maggiemakes & are mighty cute though...

go crafters!

just a little note to say craft hope have raised over $20,000 for doctors without borders from their little etsy shop. it is closed for now while they catch their breath as they have been a little overwhelmed with the generosity. makes you feel good doesn't it!
my thoughts are for those trying to get through every day in haiti xxx

Saturday, January 16, 2010

crafty help for haiti

as this is also a year for me to contribute to the community more...i just found this when updating my blog. the very talented jodie at ricrac has given the link for craft hope. they have set up an etsy store with all the proceeds going to doctors without borders. i know of a midwife who regularly goes on missions with this group & i have confidence that they do wonderful work. if you are crafty, why not contribute something....

Craft Hope for Haiti Shop Spreading seeds of hope one stitch at a time


this is my new addiction. i get extremely anxious watching it but i need my fix each night. we are up to series 2 now & we are hooked. i cannot explain it & am trying not to overanalyze my fascination with a serial killer but it is great viewing....but i can only watch it with my man....not alone!

the universe...

i do believe in putting your dreams out to the universe...not totally in the secret sort of obsessive way but just in a purely positive way.

i have really struggled this fortnight with being positive - mostly on the work front. but yesterday i put on my sparkly mac eyeshadow to get to work & told myself to get over it all & realise that this is my year.

well i tell you worked. within minutes of stepping foot in the door new opportunities presented themselves to me....well that was after i stopped gasping for breath after walking the 120 steps to my floor as punishment for not riding my bike that morning..

i have 2 jobs to apply for now & i am staying positive. i know it will be competetive but i am up for the challenge. i am moving on i tell you. and leaving the misery behind. i got great encouragement from people i respect & if they have faith in me, then why shouldn't i??
i also got to deliver a gorgeous baby boy for an amazing family. so all good really.

i am being told that this year is a great year for me & to stay focused & positive...well it's about fucking time!

yes i know i have shown you this print before but it found me again & it is sooo cute. it's from here.

Monday, January 11, 2010

found this cute quote at a pretty trip that i discovered today.

feeling a little sad to say goodbye to friends who have been staying. you know...easy hard work involved...a pleasure to have...& now they are missed.
friends we have known for 15 years. our husbands all met doing airtraffic control together. all 3 are still in the aviation industry, but different positions. one even flies for my mate richard...

now we have children aged 17 months to 17 years....& they are all amazing kids. all of our travels have seen us in darwin & canberra together & it doesn't matter how long it's been between's all just so easy & lovely. and now i miss them & their gorgeous girls. thankfully one lot are living here is this town now, so i get coffees & cuddles more often. the others are in canberra which seems too far away today,,,

tomorrow we are off to the noosa river fishing with our boys. we are set to test the new rods out. it means an early start but i am really looking forward to a family day in the is good!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

eye candy

this is my sort of eye candy. i am over the cute boy variety....a few lazy days have enabled me to sift through the amazing world out there for some great eye candy...& because i am so lazy with adding new links to some fave blogs...take a peek.

a creative mint
my happy little life
leo on the loose

photo from a creative mint....check the archives for amazing delicious photos! 
more later  xx

a great cause...join up!

i have just joined a great cause to help those less fortunate than us. it was started by the talented author bec sparrow & entails donating a mere $10 to a different cause each month for a year.
it is called the first sunday club & as soon as i read about it in the sunday mail, i was in.

and before anyone pulls the old "the money never gets to them" attitude fresh from the 1970's, please give with your heart & have some faith. it's just a miserable excuse you are creating & the world needs less misery, not more.

so, for a mere $10 this month, we are supporting & are helping women & children in afghanistan & pakistan. it is super quick & easy to join & i am sure we could all find/redirect this small amount each month for something great like this!

multiple personalities...

i am a tad exhausted from dealing with the multiple personalities that i deal with at work...colleagues mostly. see, the cool chicks are all on holidays & lets just say that the others are sort of getting to me. i have to figure out their individual multiple personalities as well as get my head around the gen y factor - which to me is a total cop-out of a label & seems to be used when no-one wants to face reality & put these people in their place...don't get me started.

maybe i am the problem?

i am trying to remember what i was like in my 20's....and god i hope i was not like what i now see around me. i shudder to think really. i know i was on a mission to get to the middle east after a short time playing wife with the white picket fence in paddington. it just wasn't me...everyone else wanted it but i ran far far away. i figured i was the problem back then too...

then there are the spinsters who hate everyone & everything & are more likely to continually talk about their long list of health problems & family disputes than ask how anyone else is.

my biggest fear is that i am becoming more like the spinsters except i have sex slightly more often - i hope!

colleagues are hard work sometimes aren't they? surely others have this problem?? we are thrown together for x number of hours in a week when really, we would never have enough in common to stick together for a coffee at chermside together. they probably feel the same about me....

i think my problem is....i miss my buddies & the laughs we have & the old days when you were allowed to joke & laugh & sit around eating popcorn sometimes . i guess this isn't the 90's anymore though is it? but sometimes we need comic relief & i am telling you, sometimes it's laugh or cry...

Monday, January 4, 2010

discovery & rediscovery

new year. new goals. yes?
i am going to call it my year of rediscovery.

firstly, i am thanking 2009 for being my year of discovery....
i discovered that what i call obsessive behaviour is what others apparently call finishing a task
i discovered i do actually like myself & i really enjoy the simple things in life
i discovered that all is not what it seems
i discovered that people do show their true selves eventually...there is only so much hiding one can do
i discovered how to say no & not feel as guilty as i used to
i discovered it is ok to trust that little inner voice & that i should listen more attentively
i discovered i can stick at something & continue to enjoy this blog. this month it is a whole year old. if i thought anyone read it, i would offer a giveaway...cause i love free shit (not a new discovery)

now for the year ahead & the rediscovery of....
the joy of making things for my home
my passion for my job & new career goals...yet to be totally figured out! and i need to get over one of the worst days i have had in a while because right now, it all just sucks...but i live in hope!!
the joy in reading a great book
the joy in lazy days & even more family board games
the joy in my marriage of 14 years
friends who have been neglected these past few years
the joy of fitting into clothes & not looking & feeling like a freakin telly tubby
the art of riding a bike without falling off & having a random bogan honk their horn & laugh at me....i am sticking to the quiet areas around my suburb

on a high note...i have actually finished some projects this weekend. it is really rewarding. some are gifts. others are for my home. and i am in the middle of building a console table with the $25 legs i bought on ebay. lets just say this one is a work in progress...

on a random higher note...i discovered today that a colleague is married to a famous author. and i saw her today. but, shit, i didn't realise who she was until she was i am going to look like a stalker. i have already told him i am totally in love with his wife. so maybe i sound like a stalker when i strode up to richard branson & called him richard & asked for an autogragh...when everyone else looked airbrushed & were calling him mr branson & he was about to conduct a wedding ceremony in san francisco...but hey, i got the autograph!


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