Saturday, September 4, 2010

lilly white arse

so in a matter of days i will be planting my lilly white arse on a big plane & heading to the excitement of america. first stop - vegas. well, technically its LA but only to get on another plane for vegas. we saw LA 3 years ago & it didn't meet with my expectations....whole other story!

we are doing vegas, orlando, washington & new york!! i think i am more excited than the boys.

but i have a dilemma.....i look like a hairy albino mammoth straight from hibernation. i kid you not. my legs are the hairiest i have ever seen. the brazillian got cancelled last month (i know, the horror) & my vampire-like white sheen will scare small children at the pool in vegas.

the wax is booked (i pity that poor beautician) but i am in a dilemma about the spray tan. i normally get a light spray tan before going on holidays but am reconsidering this time....even though i know white flab is worse than slightly tanned flab.

i try to blend in a little poolside as i always look like the aussie - white, hiding in the shade, 30+ sunscreen & kids covered up too & bored within an hour of sitting. the europeans are letting it all hang out (hair & dangly bits included) & bronzing away oblivious to the word melanoma....the americans are squeezed into a bikini no matter their size & are tanned to within an inch of their life with their silicon boobs popping out. the brits are excited to see sun & blue skies & their skin is screaming for more vitamin d.

my friend trish is off to bali with her sister soon & asked about a spray tan. she is gorgeous & would still look great without one. i am screaming....yes it's fab. do why am i rethinking it this time? i am not put off by the get naked & stand spread eagle in front of a size 8 beautician while she sprays you from head to toe...bending over to get the butt cheeks that (surprisingly) doesn't bother me at all. i can tolerate the stench of it & the stickiness & not showering for 12 hours.

maybe i am just becoming more comfortable in my lilly white arse. maybe i want to be natural. maybe i just can't be arsed....await for the screams poolside.

ps...not my lilly white arse in the photo...but a girl can dream!

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