what i should be doing is the ironing....

i am bumming around here reflecting on my busy week & making a journal cover....that doesn't fit the diary it was made for, but fits a notebook. so not all is lost.

kids back into the swing of school & homework.

man still has 2 weeks off.

i am meant to be emailing my cv to someone.....god this job stuff is exhausting. no wonder people just can't be bothered & stay put. it's been 4 years since i've had to apply for anything. it takes energy...

other happenings this week....

• i am wondering why i was having a conversation with my boys about not trying to pee with an erection....like i'd know to be honest!
• where is that international man of mystery when it comes to these talks??
• i am reading the girl most likely by rebecca sparrow. i am sure she was looking down on my life when she wrote it....a funny read & i love a girl that's not afraid of the f- word
• career talk - one step forward & two back.
• yoga...do i join up again?
• wishing my baking mojo would return
• skinny dipping alone...& a shower outside by the pool. the poor neighbours!
• planning another girls night out with the cool chicks from work - they rock!

sad...prayers please

please say some prayers for a small community close to my heart.
my niece was camping with some friends when a tragic accident occured....a friend has mistakenly driven his ute over other 2 friends asleep in their swags. they were just 19. my niece was there as they were celebrating a birthday. she and her boyfriend tried to save their friend's lives, but sadly they are gone.
speaking with my gorgeous niece yesterday has left me too sad for words....she was still in shock when we spoke. she was so brave though.
these kids all live in a very small community in country nsw. this town has been hit hard & there are many hearts breaking this week....especially all the parents involved & the poor lad who was driving.
please pray for them all xxx

part time....& perspective

the other day i was surprised....one of the young kidless doctors-in-training at work was excitedly chatting to me. she discovered i only worked 2 days a week. kaz, what do you do for the rest of the week if you are only here 2 days? she asked with her cute little smile....she was actually genuinely interested & intrigued at the same time.

i simply smiled & said that i did things that bought me joy, cared for my 2 boys, had an international man of mystery as a husband (think more austin powers than james bond) & that life was pretty fulfilling enough without working fulltime.

we had a short discussion about how great it is to be a part of my childrens lives & manage a bit of a career in between. it got her thinking she said. she had never thought that being a part time obstetrician was an option. i know several great female obstetricians who do just that & for who money is not the untimate goal & that family is very important. you could see the light bulb go off above her head. i told her just to think outside of the square & be confident if you want something, you can make it work.

then about 20 minutes later, i felt a little guilty.... for a moment, i actually felt selfish for having time for friends & coffees, sewing & craft & a bit of lazing about.

then i kicked myself....hello girl! i have had 2 boys who i adore & will be out the door within years....or maybe not according to current stats! i have been around for school drop offs & pickups, tuckshop, classroom help, when they are sick, i know their friends & their friends' mums, they talk to me about private stuff & even girls.... i have worked shift work for over 20 years - shit that is bloody tiring i tell you. i cook & clean & make nutritious snacks...yes & the cakes & muffins too but at least i know what is in them.

for anyone that doesn't have kids, these tasks have no real time value. i used to be the same. i used to think....why are these colleagues bothering to come in here 2 days a week. they are mere weekend warriors. what are they really giving? yes & i even admitted to thinking it to the current fulltimers.

well the first thing i got as a mother was perspective people. everything suddenly got put into its place of priority. in my never ending sleep deprived state, work was not the major focus of my life. i realised i was replaceable at work. i just got it & i was humbled.....

now, when i look around me at work. here is what i see.

• the young & fearless gen-y who are totally ignorant of the pitfalls of the ladder climb & the responsibilty they crave...they have balls & live in a state of ignorant bliss - i remember being there with my balls. i do. there are some in this group who are just biding their time for something easier to come along...
• the older near-retirement totally over it all ones who are worn out from too many years of shift work & not looking after themselves...& maybe not getting enough sex...just a thought.....like i'd really know!
• and my group in the middle - the part timers who want some work-life balance &/or are gradually increasing their hours at work as their kids grow....& we are tentatively stepping on that ladder again...but we are pissed because we seem to be doing all the freakin work! we are growing balls again though & we are wise souls who should not be underestimated. trust me, if you can wrangle a toddler & survive it, you can fucking do anything!

so there you have it. my little bit. i may only work 2 days a week but i enjoy it, i give it my all & i still have energy for those i love & i still get to do coffee at paddo without the crowds! life it good i tell you.
never feel guilty for having perspective & priorities people.

and before i get any complaints, i know it is every woman's right to be what she wants to be ie full time mum/part time mum/single mum/full time worker mum etc....personally i chose what suits me & my little family. that's all....

tellytubbies anonymous....

i fear i may have somehow morphed into a tellytubby in the last 6 months.
i am feeling a tad round in the middle & when i look in the mirror i see a big moon head...wtf?
being short is a curse i tell you....& being lazy is not helping!
my man just landed in hong kong & i have no work for 10 days, so it is my main mission to find a tellytubbies anonymous & sign up for some fitness here in telletubby land. i am sure i can find some green rolling hills to run around in...
i was hoping that wearing a sports bra to work meant i was doing exercise but hey, it's not working for me.
time for a bike ride today....

hearts...

valentines day.
mean anything to you?
it seems out of proportion big in some parts of the world. not?
for me....i don't like to get caught up in the commercialism of it all. i think we get enough of that every other day.
and it is the day i was divorced all those moons ago...kind of funny eh?
i still feel queezy for all the champagne i drank that night...& vomiting for hours afterwards.
so, i think i'll leave valentines day to the heart experts!
these hearts are from maggiemakes & are mighty cute though...

go crafters!

just a little note to say craft hope have raised over $20,000 for doctors without borders from their little etsy shop. it is closed for now while they catch their breath as they have been a little overwhelmed with the generosity. makes you feel good doesn't it!
my thoughts are for those trying to get through every day in haiti xxx

crafty help for haiti

as this is also a year for me to contribute to the community more...i just found this when updating my blog. the very talented jodie at ricrac has given the link for craft hope. they have set up an etsy store with all the proceeds going to doctors without borders. i know of a midwife who regularly goes on missions with this group & i have confidence that they do wonderful work. if you are crafty, why not contribute something....