Thursday, January 28, 2010

sad...prayers please

please say some prayers for a small community close to my heart.
my niece was camping with some friends when a tragic accident occured....a friend has mistakenly driven his ute over other 2 friends asleep in their swags. they were just 19. my niece was there as they were celebrating a birthday. she and her boyfriend tried to save their friend's lives, but sadly they are gone.
speaking with my gorgeous niece yesterday has left me too sad for words....she was still in shock when we spoke. she was so brave though.
these kids all live in a very small community in country nsw. this town has been hit hard & there are many hearts breaking this week....especially all the parents involved & the poor lad who was driving.
please pray for them all xxx

Sunday, January 24, 2010

part time....& perspective

the other day i was of the young kidless doctors-in-training at work was excitedly chatting to me. she discovered i only worked 2 days a week. kaz, what do you do for the rest of the week if you are only here 2 days? she asked with her cute little smile....she was actually genuinely interested & intrigued at the same time.

i simply smiled & said that i did things that bought me joy, cared for my 2 boys, had an international man of mystery as a husband (think more austin powers than james bond) & that life was pretty fulfilling enough without working fulltime.

we had a short discussion about how great it is to be a part of my childrens lives & manage a bit of a career in between. it got her thinking she said. she had never thought that being a part time obstetrician was an option. i know several great female obstetricians who do just that & for who money is not the untimate goal & that family is very important. you could see the light bulb go off above her head. i told her just to think outside of the square & be confident if you want something, you can make it work.

then about 20 minutes later, i felt a little guilty.... for a moment, i actually felt selfish for having time for friends & coffees, sewing & craft & a bit of lazing about.

then i kicked myself....hello girl! i have had 2 boys who i adore & will be out the door within years....or maybe not according to current stats! i have been around for school drop offs & pickups, tuckshop, classroom help, when they are sick, i know their friends & their friends' mums, they talk to me about private stuff & even girls.... i have worked shift work for over 20 years - shit that is bloody tiring i tell you. i cook & clean & make nutritious snacks...yes & the cakes & muffins too but at least i know what is in them.

for anyone that doesn't have kids, these tasks have no real time value. i used to be the same. i used to think....why are these colleagues bothering to come in here 2 days a week. they are mere weekend warriors. what are they really giving? yes & i even admitted to thinking it to the current fulltimers.

well the first thing i got as a mother was perspective people. everything suddenly got put into its place of priority. in my never ending sleep deprived state, work was not the major focus of my life. i realised i was replaceable at work. i just got it & i was humbled.....

now, when i look around me at work. here is what i see.
  • the young & fearless gen-y who are totally ignorant of the pitfalls of the ladder climb & the responsibilty they crave...they have balls & live in a state of ignorant bliss - i remember being there with my balls. i do. there are some in this group who are just biding their time for something easier to come along...
  • the older near-retirement totally over it all ones who are worn out from too many years of shift work & not looking after themselves...& maybe not getting enough sex...just a i'd really know!
  • and my group in the middle - the part timers who want some work-life balance &/or are gradually increasing their hours at work as their kids grow....& we are tentatively stepping on that ladder again...but we are pissed because we seem to be doing all the freakin work! we are growing balls again though & we are wise souls who should not be underestimated. trust me, if you can wrangle a toddler & survive it, you can fucking do anything!
so there you have it. my little bit. i may only work 2 days a week but i enjoy it, i give it my all & i still have energy for those i love & i still get to do coffee at paddo without the crowds! life it good i tell you.
never feel guilty for having perspective & priorities people.

and before i get any complaints, i know it is every woman's right to be what she wants to be ie full time mum/part time mum/single mum/full time worker mum etc....personally i chose what suits me & my little family. that's all....

Friday, January 22, 2010

tellytubbies anonymous....

i fear i may have somehow morphed into a tellytubby in the last 6 months.
i am feeling a tad round in the middle & when i look in the mirror i see a big moon
being short is a curse i tell you....& being lazy is not helping!
my man just landed in hong kong & i have no work for 10 days, so it is my main mission to find a tellytubbies anonymous & sign up for some fitness here in telletubby land. i am sure i can find some green rolling hills to run around in...
i was hoping that wearing a sports bra to work meant i was doing exercise but hey, it's not working for me.
time for a bike ride today....


valentines day.
mean anything to you?
it seems out of proportion big in some parts of the world. not?
for me....i don't like to get caught up in the commercialism of it all. i think we get enough of that every other day.
and it is the day i was divorced all those moons ago...kind of funny eh?
i still feel queezy for all the champagne i drank that night...& vomiting for hours afterwards.
so, i think i'll leave valentines day to the heart experts!
these hearts are from maggiemakes & are mighty cute though...

go crafters!

just a little note to say craft hope have raised over $20,000 for doctors without borders from their little etsy shop. it is closed for now while they catch their breath as they have been a little overwhelmed with the generosity. makes you feel good doesn't it!
my thoughts are for those trying to get through every day in haiti xxx

Saturday, January 16, 2010

crafty help for haiti

as this is also a year for me to contribute to the community more...i just found this when updating my blog. the very talented jodie at ricrac has given the link for craft hope. they have set up an etsy store with all the proceeds going to doctors without borders. i know of a midwife who regularly goes on missions with this group & i have confidence that they do wonderful work. if you are crafty, why not contribute something....

Craft Hope for Haiti Shop Spreading seeds of hope one stitch at a time


this is my new addiction. i get extremely anxious watching it but i need my fix each night. we are up to series 2 now & we are hooked. i cannot explain it & am trying not to overanalyze my fascination with a serial killer but it is great viewing....but i can only watch it with my man....not alone!

the universe...

i do believe in putting your dreams out to the universe...not totally in the secret sort of obsessive way but just in a purely positive way.

i have really struggled this fortnight with being positive - mostly on the work front. but yesterday i put on my sparkly mac eyeshadow to get to work & told myself to get over it all & realise that this is my year.

well i tell you worked. within minutes of stepping foot in the door new opportunities presented themselves to me....well that was after i stopped gasping for breath after walking the 120 steps to my floor as punishment for not riding my bike that morning..

i have 2 jobs to apply for now & i am staying positive. i know it will be competetive but i am up for the challenge. i am moving on i tell you. and leaving the misery behind. i got great encouragement from people i respect & if they have faith in me, then why shouldn't i??
i also got to deliver a gorgeous baby boy for an amazing family. so all good really.

i am being told that this year is a great year for me & to stay focused & positive...well it's about fucking time!

yes i know i have shown you this print before but it found me again & it is sooo cute. it's from here.

Monday, January 11, 2010

found this cute quote at a pretty trip that i discovered today.

feeling a little sad to say goodbye to friends who have been staying. you know...easy hard work involved...a pleasure to have...& now they are missed.
friends we have known for 15 years. our husbands all met doing airtraffic control together. all 3 are still in the aviation industry, but different positions. one even flies for my mate richard...

now we have children aged 17 months to 17 years....& they are all amazing kids. all of our travels have seen us in darwin & canberra together & it doesn't matter how long it's been between's all just so easy & lovely. and now i miss them & their gorgeous girls. thankfully one lot are living here is this town now, so i get coffees & cuddles more often. the others are in canberra which seems too far away today,,,

tomorrow we are off to the noosa river fishing with our boys. we are set to test the new rods out. it means an early start but i am really looking forward to a family day in the is good!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

eye candy

this is my sort of eye candy. i am over the cute boy variety....a few lazy days have enabled me to sift through the amazing world out there for some great eye candy...& because i am so lazy with adding new links to some fave blogs...take a peek.

a creative mint
my happy little life
leo on the loose

photo from a creative mint....check the archives for amazing delicious photos! 
more later  xx

a great cause...join up!

i have just joined a great cause to help those less fortunate than us. it was started by the talented author bec sparrow & entails donating a mere $10 to a different cause each month for a year.
it is called the first sunday club & as soon as i read about it in the sunday mail, i was in.

and before anyone pulls the old "the money never gets to them" attitude fresh from the 1970's, please give with your heart & have some faith. it's just a miserable excuse you are creating & the world needs less misery, not more.

so, for a mere $10 this month, we are supporting & are helping women & children in afghanistan & pakistan. it is super quick & easy to join & i am sure we could all find/redirect this small amount each month for something great like this!

multiple personalities...

i am a tad exhausted from dealing with the multiple personalities that i deal with at work...colleagues mostly. see, the cool chicks are all on holidays & lets just say that the others are sort of getting to me. i have to figure out their individual multiple personalities as well as get my head around the gen y factor - which to me is a total cop-out of a label & seems to be used when no-one wants to face reality & put these people in their place...don't get me started.

maybe i am the problem?

i am trying to remember what i was like in my 20's....and god i hope i was not like what i now see around me. i shudder to think really. i know i was on a mission to get to the middle east after a short time playing wife with the white picket fence in paddington. it just wasn't me...everyone else wanted it but i ran far far away. i figured i was the problem back then too...

then there are the spinsters who hate everyone & everything & are more likely to continually talk about their long list of health problems & family disputes than ask how anyone else is.

my biggest fear is that i am becoming more like the spinsters except i have sex slightly more often - i hope!

colleagues are hard work sometimes aren't they? surely others have this problem?? we are thrown together for x number of hours in a week when really, we would never have enough in common to stick together for a coffee at chermside together. they probably feel the same about me....

i think my problem is....i miss my buddies & the laughs we have & the old days when you were allowed to joke & laugh & sit around eating popcorn sometimes . i guess this isn't the 90's anymore though is it? but sometimes we need comic relief & i am telling you, sometimes it's laugh or cry...

Monday, January 4, 2010

discovery & rediscovery

new year. new goals. yes?
i am going to call it my year of rediscovery.

firstly, i am thanking 2009 for being my year of discovery....
i discovered that what i call obsessive behaviour is what others apparently call finishing a task
i discovered i do actually like myself & i really enjoy the simple things in life
i discovered that all is not what it seems
i discovered that people do show their true selves eventually...there is only so much hiding one can do
i discovered how to say no & not feel as guilty as i used to
i discovered it is ok to trust that little inner voice & that i should listen more attentively
i discovered i can stick at something & continue to enjoy this blog. this month it is a whole year old. if i thought anyone read it, i would offer a giveaway...cause i love free shit (not a new discovery)

now for the year ahead & the rediscovery of....
the joy of making things for my home
my passion for my job & new career goals...yet to be totally figured out! and i need to get over one of the worst days i have had in a while because right now, it all just sucks...but i live in hope!!
the joy in reading a great book
the joy in lazy days & even more family board games
the joy in my marriage of 14 years
friends who have been neglected these past few years
the joy of fitting into clothes & not looking & feeling like a freakin telly tubby
the art of riding a bike without falling off & having a random bogan honk their horn & laugh at me....i am sticking to the quiet areas around my suburb

on a high note...i have actually finished some projects this weekend. it is really rewarding. some are gifts. others are for my home. and i am in the middle of building a console table with the $25 legs i bought on ebay. lets just say this one is a work in progress...

on a random higher note...i discovered today that a colleague is married to a famous author. and i saw her today. but, shit, i didn't realise who she was until she was i am going to look like a stalker. i have already told him i am totally in love with his wife. so maybe i sound like a stalker when i strode up to richard branson & called him richard & asked for an autogragh...when everyone else looked airbrushed & were calling him mr branson & he was about to conduct a wedding ceremony in san francisco...but hey, i got the autograph!


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