Wednesday, June 3, 2009

my reality

my posts about work & being a midwife may seem a little jaded to those of you who don't share my, i thought i might try to help you understand a few my reality & why sometimes i am exhausted, pissed off & totally heartbroken as well as overwhelmed with joy & amazement of the miracle of birth.

i have worked in different parts of australia both in the public & private systems. i have also worked in saudi arabia in the early '90's. i have cared for bedouins, royalty, princesses (some real & some in their own minds), famous peeps, regular peeps & everyone in between. i have met women too posh to push & women who have a cord still dangling & placenta undelivered heading outside for a cigarette...i try my hardest to care for everyone the same way, no matter who they are or where they came from or how much (or little) money they have....but i am human too. and sometimes it is tough....and my normal is not necessarily someone else's normal...

wonder what my eyes have seen & why my soul is sometimes's just a brief glimpse of what i have seen:
  • retarded girls rock with their teddies & calling out to their mummies in pain while in labour
  • women who have been circumcised screaming in agony labouring
  • 16yo girls who are the second wife & are on ivf as they are not pregnant within 6 months
  • 15yo girls who i am encouraging through labour & i talk of the wonderful surprise at the end..."yes, all that money" she said...i was meaning the baby...
  • pregnant drug addicts & homeless women trying to avoid the social services
  • women who have done everything right & nurtured their unborn baby only to have a stillbirth for a reason never found
  • woman & babies who suffer horrific injuries from domestic violence
  • a system that fails some women miserably
  • colleagues who have their own best interests at heart
  • babies dying from complications of birth, prematurity or abnormalities
  • young girls giving babies up for adoption so as not to shame their families - their words, not mine
  • incest & rape victims having their babies & enduring the constant reminder
  • women diagnosed with cancer having to terminate their pregnancies to save themselves
  • surrogates trying to keep things quiet as it is still illegal....

don't get me wrong...i am blessed to have been involved with amazing women & families for the last 20 years. every time, it is a privilege & a miracle. it's just not all cuddles & babies. i see families at their best & worst times in their lives. i admire every woman's resilience & spirit. and that is why i still do it. i love it & cannot imagine life without it...sometimes it makes me weary though.

and the shift work is a killer.......

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