mornings....

i think i've changed. i think i'm a morning person now....or may be i'm just getting old. because old people get up early, even when they don't have to.
all this new work routine has me up early each day. and now, on a saturday, i am awake at 6am without an alarm and ready to get on with the day.
my man says i am like a little goat leaping out of bed each morning, excited to get into the day. trust me, he's never seen me leaping out of bed before!
wow, imagine my excitement....i feel human. i sleep and eat in regular patterns. no shiftwork. i tell you, i've seen the light! there is no going back now.....well, that's the plan anyway. i do love plans and lists remember.

summer yet?

so, it appears that the only way i will survive being holed up wearing my red clogs & poncho (from anthropologie)  in my cottage in europe is to have a constant supply of saki....apparently it warms you up nicely. thanks for the tips nerida!

winter is a chore for me. i sort of hold my breath & get through it trying not to whine...too much. right now, i am dreaming of vegas & the humidity & sun & pool. it is still a few months away but i am gagging for it!

other things....found myself another hairdresser (one of robin hood's mates) who can actually cut hair. she took one look at my '80's hair & rescued me. i'm back baby!! and it feels good.

masterchef...still loving it. bumped into sharnee in the valley yesterday. i soo wanted to hug her & tell her i thought she was fab & that i love young peeps with passion....but i had a hot chocolate milk moustache & thought i may scare her...& i still had my '80's hair then.

dreaming of crafting but lately all my time has been about the career. must be midlife crisis time as i am plotting my path out of shift work. after over 20 years, i am done! so, here i sit surrounded by paperwork, applications, cv & reading upon reading. my little voice told me that this was my year....so, i remain positive & am embracing the journey. it is somewhat unexpected but amazing. so far, it feels good.....step by step.

not a morning person

i am sitting here with my second cup of coffee & my raspberry & almond muffin thinking...why didn't i put white chocolate chunks in these muffins?

if i was a morning person, i would've cleaned the toilets & showers by now & had the second load of washing on...but alas, i am not a morning person. it appears i am not a late night person either. i was falling asleep on the couch at 8.30 last night.....the joys of years shift work are finally depleting me.

it's been a year since i had a holiday...& in my line of work, that's about 11 months too long! well, it just seems unfair as i have worked all the school holidays in this time. i know i only work a pathetic few days a week, but it still counts. i am one of those mums that loves the holidays...until about the last week of the 8 week xmas break! i love the sleep-ins (having to wake one child at 10.30 this week was pretty funny), the hanging out, the catch ups, the pure relaxing of it all........yes, holidays are great for us non-morning peeps!

today is a day off & i need to make a list, so i actually achieve something. i have been a bit off my game on lists of late. it means i just float along not really achieving much of anything.

great news though...2 days in to a new gig at work & i am loving it. i may never want to return to the old me. maybe i will hang up my baby catching glove for good. this gig is much less messy & noisy, more delegating, more typing & less wiping than i ever imagined my work life to be...there may be no going back. who knew change would be so refreshing?? and clean...

**cupcake wrappers not mine...my memory escapes me - sorry!!

the universe...

i do believe in putting your dreams out to the universe...not totally in the secret sort of obsessive way but just in a purely positive way.

i have really struggled this fortnight with being positive - mostly on the work front. but yesterday i put on my sparkly mac eyeshadow to get to work & told myself to get over it all & realise that this is my year.

well i tell you what...it worked. within minutes of stepping foot in the door new opportunities presented themselves to me....well that was after i stopped gasping for breath after walking the 120 steps to my floor as punishment for not riding my bike that morning..

i have 2 jobs to apply for now & i am staying positive. i know it will be competetive but i am up for the challenge. i am moving on i tell you. and leaving the misery behind. i got great encouragement from people i respect & if they have faith in me, then why shouldn't i??
i also got to deliver a gorgeous baby boy for an amazing family. so all good really.

i am being told that this year is a great year for me & to stay focused & positive...well it's about fucking time!

yes i know i have shown you this print before but it found me again & it is sooo cute. it's from here.

multiple personalities...

i am a tad exhausted from dealing with the multiple personalities that i deal with at work...colleagues mostly. see, the cool chicks are all on holidays & lets just say that the others are sort of getting to me. i have to figure out their individual multiple personalities as well as get my head around the gen y factor - which to me is a total cop-out of a label & seems to be used when no-one wants to face reality & put these people in their place...don't get me started.

maybe i am the problem?

i am trying to remember what i was like in my 20's....and god i hope i was not like what i now see around me. i shudder to think really. i know i was on a mission to get to the middle east after a short time playing wife with the white picket fence in paddington. it just wasn't me...everyone else wanted it but i ran far far away. i figured i was the problem back then too...

then there are the spinsters who hate everyone & everything & are more likely to continually talk about their long list of health problems & family disputes than ask how anyone else is.

my biggest fear is that i am becoming more like the spinsters except i have sex slightly more often - i hope!

colleagues are hard work sometimes aren't they? surely others have this problem?? we are thrown together for x number of hours in a week when really, we would never have enough in common to stick together for a coffee at chermside together. they probably feel the same about me....

i think my problem is....i miss my buddies & the laughs we have & the old days when you were allowed to joke & laugh & sit around eating popcorn sometimes . i guess this isn't the 90's anymore though is it? but sometimes we need comic relief & i am telling you, sometimes it's laugh or cry...

ho ho ho...& a knicker mystery

well i hope you are all more organized than me for this cheery part of the year. november was full of high hopes but my shopping died in the arse big time....even after my great start.

well i got busy....sydney with my mum for a weekend of cafes, window shopping, shopping for me, dancing in the crowd at mamma mia, drinking wine. and that was just sydney.

then a few days at the coast with my boys and man....tennis, monopoly, movies

and then straight after night duty, a quick sleep & off to our little work xmas party. loads of yummy indian food, champagne, wine & a sleepover for me at a girlfriends house.

and then a 2 day recovery. i am so not wine fit at the moment.

and then straight back into work where i never seem to even get to pee, eat or hang with the other cool chicks. same old story....no staff, many babies arriving.

i figured it must be the silly season though as after work yesterday i found my knickers in my bag i take to work...i know i left the house with a pair on. and i returned home with a pair on......so i have a knicker mystery on my hands....& i don't think i shall go on further about that!

and next week it is a friends catch up for kids, dinner with friends, haircuts, a 40th birthday for my man & hopefully the xmas shopping. i struggle with being in the regular saturday morning crowds at the shops, so i will be needing all the help i can get to brave the shops next week. they tell me it is crazy already.

ps... this gorgeous wreath is from here with the tutorial. if only i had time to sit & make it. it is absolutely gorgeous!

hearing voices...

i've had hunches before...i judge peeps the minute i meet them...i get feelings....but all of a sudden in the last few months, i am totally freaking myself out with my little inner voice. lets just say the little voice is yelling at me & i am actually listening now....thanks for that! i get it. ok.

some stuff i have known of late i cannot reveal for personal reasons but yesterday at work i heard my little friend loud & clear. i met my patient & within 5 minutes of meeting her i had the paperwork out on the table for her emergency....that happened 2 hours later.

yes, it should have been an easy peasy third baby arriving for a delightful mum & her partner. but i insisted on telling the doctor to be careful...several times...like a nagging wife. he is young & a real doctor now & sort of looked at me as if i was crazy...he started her induction. all went well for a while...you don't need all the details & it won't make sense unless you are in my business. they call it a cord prolapse & it's the real deal emergency...i get to leave my fingers in, keep pushing baby's head back off the cord, stay on her bed while she is basically upside down...& we are connected like that until she gets a general anaesthetic & her baby is born via emergency caesarean. so, there i am, under her sheets in theatre reminding the real doctor not to cut my fingers off....saying thank you to my little inner voice....

that gorgeous baby girl has a shiloh pitt mouth & my 2 fingerprints on her head. and she is gorgeous & healthy. thank you little inner voice! i promise to keep listening....xxx

my head...

my head has either been up my own arse, up someone elses....(yes i was back at work last week) or on my pillow....night duty style. it's a blurr really.

last week i was back into the swing of work with welcome back night duty. it went well & it was nice to see some of my colleagues smiling faces again. some of the grumpy ones made me smile on the inside too....some people are just born miserable.

it was an eventful week...a family member who we never hear from decides to ask us for $5000 to bandaid his extravagant lifestyle that has busted big time....he tried some emotional blackmail & tried to sound as if it was a matter of urgency, but no money for him i am afraid. we called it tough love! and besides, no spare $5000 lying around under my mattress.

our gorgeous 10yo was on school camp & became sick. he ended up very unwell & was hospitalised with iv's over the weekend. he was really brave & i was so proud. he even remembered his manners when he was so sick...unlike the pottymouth mother with her teen daughters beside us. my son was too sick to comment at the time but the following day he turns to me & says well mum, at least we don't have to listen to that potty mouth mother any more. that was disgusting!

i swear at work - alot - but not in front of my patients or my kids....there was this one time...it involved a removalist truck blocking our street when we were running late for school & i wasn't sure if i actually said fucking hell out loud or just in my head...turns out it wasn't just in my head! but only the older one heard & talked to me about it a few days later...oops!

ps this lovely leo necklace is from marmar & there is some seriously cute stuff there.

ice queen

so, i hear there is a great way of ridding yourself of annoying peeps in your life...interested?
ever have someone who makes your life miserable, makes work difficult, who you would rather not be around you so much?
i have the answer.
put them in the freezer....well, write their name on paper & put it in the freezer. i have it on good authority that this very scientific method works. i am unsure how long it takes, but apparently they will go...move on to another job, move interstate, leave....no blood involved. no authorities knocking on your door...all good.
secretly, we put someone on ice this week.....she is a total pain in someone's arse & life would be better all round if she moved on....& my theory is that it won't take long as she is such an ice queen already. she is on the top shelf just for good measure....

hey as an aside/coincidence...i have just watched my first episode of dexter. i have all 3 series. don't think i'll be addicted like weeds but it has potential....and i may have more ways of ridding peeps from your life! kidding!

february already?

i love school holidays but now i am enjoying the quiet of the house and being a little self indulgent with my boys back at school. i just cannot fathom where january went?? don't even mention hot cross buns.

so, i feel some crafting coming on this week. need to bust out the patterns in the amy butler books and decide my next project....o, and finish a few others. i have a half finished new baby gift in front of me and the poor child turns one soon - impossible.

and i have a day job that requires patience, energy, empathy, good catching skills, a tough stomach and an anti-bitching cape to cope with the all-female (mostly) staff. i am a midwife. mostly i love it. lately, i am too involved in the drama - the politics. new peeps from different parts of the world arrived enmass and trying to change everything within 5 minutes of passing through immigration. news people, we are happy with the way we do things here and if you don't love it, go back home to where things were done your way.....i actually wonder why you came at all. it sounds so perfect back there?? must keep sewing that anti-bitching cape! can you tell i am ready for holidays.....3 weeks of bliss coming very soon.

nutella and wine for dinner at midnight. no break at work. not good for the healthy eating plan and diet of 2009....