holidays....

this photo made me smile last night in bed with the iphone in the blackout.

i got home from a long 12 hour day at work....my last day before 3 weeks holiday! my family had dinner cooking. then....lights out. the storm nuked all power for a few hours. the candles were lit. dinner served in bowls, books read by candlelight & the 4 of us chatting & having laughs in the dark together...for hours.

i'm not sure about anyone else, but we are pretty routine in the evening - dinner together, clean up together, showers & then chill time (often with the boys upstairs & the 2 of us catching up on the couch. bedtimes are apparently strict in our house. well, so my kids tell me....i think it's just fine. more often than not of late, they are tucking me into bed!

last night was just beautiful. i sat on the couch, had dinner served to me, kids hanging around reading joining in the convo & man & i enjoying a glass of wine together. lovely family time.
we both commented that thanks to mother nature, we had an unexpected peachy family night in.

sometimes it really is the little things....

photo from how about orange

lost it...

i think i have seriously lost the plot....the weekend was a blur of bile & sleep deprivation. our youngest got sick on school camp (again) & needed hard drugs to stop the bile vomits. i was greeted to this as i finished night duty friday morning....so, after 2 hours sleep i had a little green patient at home. he worries me as i think the anxiety around food starts it intially. but then it goes deep in his gut & before we know it, he cannot stop vomiting & we are at the doctor.

this child is a sensitive soul. and a very fussy eater. like i was before i left home. he likes boring plain old food....which no one else in the family likes. we eat loads of asian, indian, spicy foods. but not this kid. i must confess i sometimes wash a curry under the tap for him. to tone down the spice. friends alternate between hysterical laughter & total shock. i just got to the point where cooking 2 meals was just too much. and he needed to get with the program. he now will swallow a vitamin - a recent achievement.

dinner time for this kid has always been a dramatic event. different textures send him into a spin. he puked back some couscous last week. straight back onto his plate. it didn't reach his stomach. my calm reply? hun, just move your chicken away from the vomit & concentrate on the chicken.....is this too calm?

i alternate between hard arsed just eat it mum & totally whatever go to bed hungry mum....i have been trying to be calm about the food. blood tests a few years ago revealed nothing was wrong. but we are back at the gp for some input this week.

he is 10 now & in my mind, we should be on easy street when it comes to dinner. we eat healthy meals. my kids have not grown up on meat pies, soggy frozen vegies & tinned food....but apparently camp food is this sort of food. part of me likes that he cannot eat that crap. but he needs to try....he tells me it's the smell that gets to him. i don't blame him. that stuff stinks. but he cannot starve himself at camp.

he has improved.
he still swallows peas whole - so did i.
he will eat broccolini tiny bit by tiny bit.
he won't touch salad.
he eats chicken, meat, pork, fish (with my beer batter)
he eats potato, pasta & rice
he loves cheese
he eats apples & sometimes watermelon
he never eats sweets, lollies or cakes (only my choc chip muffins which he cooks with me)
the only orange thing he will eat is a cheezle.

am i losing it? does any other mother go through this? how does one gorgeous little person reduce me to tears with worry?

found this cute quote at a pretty trip that i discovered today.

feeling a little sad to say goodbye to friends who have been staying. you know...easy friends....no hard work involved...a pleasure to have...& now they are missed.
friends we have known for 15 years. our husbands all met doing airtraffic control together. all 3 are still in the aviation industry, but different positions. one even flies for my mate richard...

now we have children aged 17 months to 17 years....& they are all amazing kids. all of our travels have seen us in darwin & canberra together & it doesn't matter how long it's been between visits...it's all just so easy & lovely. and now i miss them & their gorgeous girls. thankfully one lot are living here is this town now, so i get coffees & cuddles more often. the others are in canberra which seems too far away today,,,

tomorrow we are off to the noosa river fishing with our boys. we are set to test the new rods out. it means an early start but i am really looking forward to a family day in the sunshine....life is good!

discovery & rediscovery

new year. new goals. yes?
i am going to call it my year of rediscovery.

firstly, i am thanking 2009 for being my year of discovery....
i discovered that what i call obsessive behaviour is what others apparently call finishing a task
i discovered i do actually like myself & i really enjoy the simple things in life
i discovered that all is not what it seems
i discovered that people do show their true selves eventually...there is only so much hiding one can do
i discovered how to say no & not feel as guilty as i used to
i discovered it is ok to trust that little inner voice & that i should listen more attentively
i discovered i can stick at something & continue to enjoy it...like this blog. this month it is a whole year old. if i thought anyone read it, i would offer a giveaway...cause i love free shit (not a new discovery)

now for the year ahead & the rediscovery of....
the joy of making things for my home
my passion for my job & new career goals...yet to be totally figured out! and i need to get over one of the worst days i have had in a while because right now, it all just sucks...but i live in hope!!
the joy in reading a great book
the joy in lazy days & even more family board games
the joy in my marriage of 14 years
friends who have been neglected these past few years
the joy of fitting into clothes & not looking & feeling like a freakin telly tubby
the art of riding a bike without falling off & having a random bogan honk their horn & laugh at me....i am sticking to the quiet areas around my suburb

on a high note...i have actually finished some projects this weekend. it is really rewarding. some are gifts. others are for my home. and i am in the middle of building a console table with the $25 legs i bought on ebay. lets just say this one is a work in progress...

on a random higher note...i discovered today that a colleague is married to a famous author. and i saw her today. but, shit, i didn't realise who she was until she was gone....now i am going to look like a stalker. i have already told him i am totally in love with his wife. so maybe i sound like a stalker already....like when i strode up to richard branson & called him richard & asked for an autogragh...when everyone else looked airbrushed & were calling him mr branson & he was about to conduct a wedding ceremony in san francisco...but hey, i got the autograph!

november...yeeks!

i feel like i am forever recovering from night duty. all it takes is a bad sleep - like 5 hours in 48 hours - & i am screwed! but i am back now & have 2 weeks off to bum around....well, craft, clean, shop, cook, pretend i am busy.
but a few good things.......
i have started the christmas shopping - & that never happens
i have an appointment with someone cool who can help me with my little inner voice
my man will be on long service leave for 10 weeks very soon - this could end badly as he has never had so much time on his hands & he is only just beginning to learn how to truly relax. but i hold high hopes. & i have a big list to keep him going!
i had a great chat to my gorgeous talented sister yesterday after way too long of missing one another
the alternative christmas dinner for work is all arranged & secret santas texted. see, i cannot be all schmoozy with peeps i don't like/respect. it is just not me. life is too short. so, a friend & i have sorted an alternative with just 9 of us from work...drinks & dinner & we are keeping it quiet!

and a few bad things....
my man is away for the best part of 3 weeks - like here one minute, ordering room service the next kind of scenario
the advent calendar will not be finished for this year....maybe for the grandchildren

pssss. these a few things the talented sis is working on. the cake tins are a fab gift that you can fill with homebaked goodies. & the bobby pins are to die for....email me if you are interested. she may kill me but i am so proud of her!

wondering...

wondering how could it really be nearly the end of october

wondering what tinned pumpkin is really made of

wondering if we really need a puppy

wondering if i will ever get the ironing back on track

wondering if our youngest still really does believe in santa...he suspects his brother is the tooth fairy...

wondering if our eldest will still have a broken heart this afternoon after his mate asked jess out...the very same jess that makes his own heart melt

wondering how i will make it out of bed at 0515 tomorrow to get to work...........

my head...

my head has either been up my own arse, up someone elses....(yes i was back at work last week) or on my pillow....night duty style. it's a blurr really.

last week i was back into the swing of work with welcome back night duty. it went well & it was nice to see some of my colleagues smiling faces again. some of the grumpy ones made me smile on the inside too....some people are just born miserable.

it was an eventful week...a family member who we never hear from decides to ask us for $5000 to bandaid his extravagant lifestyle that has busted big time....he tried some emotional blackmail & tried to sound as if it was a matter of urgency, but no money for him i am afraid. we called it tough love! and besides, no spare $5000 lying around under my mattress.

our gorgeous 10yo was on school camp & became sick. he ended up very unwell & was hospitalised with iv's over the weekend. he was really brave & i was so proud. he even remembered his manners when he was so sick...unlike the pottymouth mother with her teen daughters beside us. my son was too sick to comment at the time but the following day he turns to me & says well mum, at least we don't have to listen to that potty mouth mother any more. that was disgusting!

i swear at work - alot - but not in front of my patients or my kids....there was this one time...it involved a removalist truck blocking our street when we were running late for school & i wasn't sure if i actually said fucking hell out loud or just in my head...turns out it wasn't just in my head! but only the older one heard & talked to me about it a few days later...oops!

ps this lovely leo necklace is from marmar & there is some seriously cute stuff there.

41

41 is so much more relaxing than 40. there was no pressure for parties & big ideas. it was just another day really....except i think this is the first birthday my man hasn't been here. due to work commitments, he has been in bangkok. my mum was here, so she organized pressies, dinner & flowers. so it was special. she took me to brunch at annok in paddington. highly recommended. perfectly hot flavourful coffee & spicy tortilla with red pepper, chilli. poached egg, harissa & lemon. it was yummy & my sorta brunch. i will definitely be back there.....

come to think of it, this week has been all about enjoying the sunshine, checking some shops out & brunches & lunches.

checked out coming up roses in bulimba & bought a few treats for friends, lunched at bulimba & shopped some more.....in fact, we have paced ourselves but achieved alot.

i have been spoiled having mum here to do the jobs i don't get around to or cannot do at the moment. she has ironed, scrubbed, washed, fluffed & generally done amazingly. i don't think we have ever had quality time alone together & i have never appreciated her like i have this week. she is still laughing at my crafty projects, kooky knitting style & half-baked ideas. maybe she saw a side of me she didn't know too.....

cleaner language for amish day

well apart from being relieved, i think my cleaner is in the clear. i ammended my swearing rant from yesterday....i do have a potty mouth. not around kids! but i definitely like the f word & sometimes forget that others don't share my enthusiasm....so i cleaned up my post.

i met my cleaner this morning & she won me over & appears mumsy in a good cleaner way. she said all the right things...in a cleaner way. phew....i may just trust her to do the right thing...

and today has been amish day in our house....formerly known as technology free day. i thought i'd rename it to excite the boys. they were less than enthusiastic but rediscovered their inner chess skills, sorted out their bedrooms, folded washing, took rubbish out & ate ham rolls for lunch. that's as amish as we get. no fields to plough, no loom for weaving...they were rewarded with time back on technology late this afternoon. besides, i was exhausted & needed my amish arse on the couch with the laptop! but it is good to regularly remind them that things can be done without technology. i actually love these days & although they would never admit it, they get by without too many whinges. today they embraced it wholeheartedly.

boys

remember how i am redoing my eldest's room....redoing is probably the wrong word. it never really got decorated in the first place, so we are starting at the beginning.

well, we are getting there. we settled on the redblackwhite colour scheme & it looks fresh & cool. he has a serious set up coming together up there. so far, i have stuck to my budget. ikea is a godsend....it's just that the putting together part of ikea stuff always takes us an eternity to get done.

i am trying to bum a lift to officeworks this week to get the clipboards & desk accessories i need ....thanks clare at mondocherry for the source of her clipboards!

this baby of ours turned 13 yesterday & we celebrated by taking him for a nice dinner on saturday night @ kingsleys. he loves his steak (& they have prawns & crab for us non-cow-munching peeps) & had the best birthday dinner ever! they made just the right amount of fuss over him & were fantastic! later, my man & i cried some happy, proud tears & felt amazed at how quickly the years have passed.......but i am the proudest mum ever & am just loving how this young man is turning out....his brother is (& always has been) more of a challenge shall we say....but he is pretty cool too though.....they are impossible to compare (& who'd want to) & are so different in every way - i feel so blessed to have them both in my life & i try to never take it for granted. these guys are what make my life worthwhile. they make my heart sing!

i feel blessed that he is 13 & talks - not grunts- to me about everything (for how long, i am unsure), has a great sense of humour, is kind & considerate of others & is happy & healthy....& is already planning his gap year! travelling is in his genes!! go for it kiddo...

what's doing?

i haven't had much time or energy for blogging & crafting of late...in fact, i owe many peeps phone calls & emails & never seem to get around to it all. my sister will think i have fallen into an abyss....but she gets it.

i am still loving masterchef & the fact that poh is back. i will be lost when it finishes on sunday. i am not a regular tv viewer, so my addiction to masterchef surprises even me...like when i loved the biggest loser...who knew i had it in me??

loved being in the garden yesterday with my family. the boys got in & helped & commented on what a great family day it was...we transformed our front garden...we always thought our landscaper was a little too minimalist (now coming from me that is something). i cannot stop admiring our work & look forward to spring now as i remember how much i love gardening.

bed shopping for 13yo bedroom makeover.... it is super comfy. it is king single to accomodate his teen growth. it has a 10 year warranty.....but my man tells me we won't need it...that he'll be left home long before the warranty runs out...it dawned on me. shit, he is probably right. i cannot even begin to imagine family life without them being around. how does that happen? how does time just slip by & toddlers are suddenly teens..........really??

loving the thought of an ikea trip next week. i dare not attempt it in school holidays. i am not good with crowds at the best of times. am after some cool furniture for the bedroom makeover. i am trying hard to tackle one project at a time......really difficult i can tell you! it is like torture actually.

boys...

a horrible windy, cold day here today. been out for movies, bowling & donuts & now hiding from 4 boys having a school holiday get together....each of mine has a friend over.....don't get me wrong. they are fantastic kids but i do tend to hide away from the noise...they are boys & their voices are getting deep & they talk another language....especially after a transformers movie. and i cannot be bothered with the translation. thankfully they have their own entertainment....and i am pretty sure it doesn't involve girls...yet!

it's a kids world

last day of term today. last alarm set for a few weeks.......
things we are planning:

• seaworld on saturday to burn our free pass before it expires on 30 june
• have a donut day......the plan is to have only hot cinnamon donuts for lunch
• get serious plans done for 13yo boy bedroom.......i feel an ikea trip coming
• find some ideas for boy bedroom. why are there no cool teen boy designs to be found anywhere?? i am not talking themes....just ideas. more research & thinking required.
• get some sewing projects done - the cushions are still a figment of my imagination
• boardgames day.......i have some serious catching up to do as i have been the big loser of late
• spend a few nights at the gold coast for man to run his marathon....i am scared for him!
• squeeze in a sleepover for some friends

and all the boring stuff like get the car serviced, clean up (as if that will happen but if i write it here, i may have more chance of doing it) & buy new shoes & uniforms for boys - they really need to slow the growing thing down. it is killing me!
hope you enjoy the holidays too.........

stamps...

i dream of some cute little stamps like these from craftpudding. there are too many cute ones to decide though.

i am sitting here wasting time..had a night out last night. with a dear friend. for her birthday. ...lets just say we got to bed late after some wine & amazing food from here. i have been several times & am never disappointed. the mod asian food is always great. and we chatted & laughed the night away. and we got lost in our own little world without kids for a bit. bliss....

so, i am tired & the boys are having a doona day. just a lazy day watching movies & eating cheese & crackers. why not i say??

and today is our 14 year wedding anniversary....we celebrated yesterday by the river with a gorgoeus lunch here (soft shell crab, peking duck, whole fried fish, pork belly....mod asian all day dining for me!)
and my man surprised me with a trip to tiffany.....wow! i bought vouchers for a cooking class each at the spirit house. something we have been talking about for years but never made time for. so, lots to be thankful for & to look forward to.

so, a day of simple food & tidying for my mum to arrive friday morning.....my man & i are off to the pink concert for a treat. the boys get to hang with nan & be spoiled.

markets

thanks to nerida at craftjuice for the brisbane mathilda market info. i took my mum who was visiting from canberra and managed to pick up some cute little fabric cupcakes filled with lavender to use as drawer liners. I can add them in to a little christening gift for gorgeous josie mae! I had already purchased the cute birdie sewn print to frame from here. now we are all set.

i wish i had time and energy to start a market stall. i must admit i went along to check out what other peeps do and how they display their wares. i think CF may actually kill me if i even mention the idea of setting up stall....so many ideas, so little time.

on a brighter note - i have lost 2.5kgs in 4 weeks. this is a great effort for me. i have managed to avoid the gym (gyms are so not for me), damage some very delicate girl bits riding a man bike, buy a sports bra(a first) and lived to tell these tales. as i can no longer blame pregnancy for my flabby body - my boys are 9 and 12 - i have to put the effort in. menopause is becoming a familiar word around here. more on that later. i have to read the books!!

diets

not a fan at the best of times...such is life. i must learn moderation. boring but essential.....
on a mission to shed 5kgs. not that hard you say?? i hate exercise and i love food and maybe wine and champagne too. there is a prize at the end. i am in competition with CF (control-freak, completer-finisher, ie husband) and i have found my competitive side. i want the prize!

just spent 5 days by the beach and became very relaxed. came back wanting to escape the real world even more. wanted a farm house. or cottage to decorate, chooks to steal eggs from, puppy to run with, open fire to burn marshmallows on, peace and quiet.....then i got to thinking:

• boys need school. i am so not the home schooling type of mum!
• we have jobs & haven't won lotto
• i have a beautiful home still not decorated
• i love our pool
• i love my study
• i can avoid the shops easily. i hate westfield.
• i buy free range already
• i can hide at home as much as i like

and i have decided that i am going to pretend i live on a farm and craft and cook as if i have all the time in the world. and i can buy a fire pit. and CF helped me to decorate the study (mmmmm). i have so much that i want and now i have decided to just sit back and enjoy it. how freeing and what a great discovery. i may still get my chooks and rolling hills when the boys leave home....for now, i have a patch of suburbia, a home and no snakes. i love being home!